Mocking names

I’m not talking about Hongkongers and their ownself give ownself first names, but this list of baby names that will guarantee that the unfortunate children that are given some of the names will be remembered.

Neither am I talking about hip-hop and rap stars and their own brand of ownself give ownself first names, like Jay-Z and Five-Percent, but there’s this baby name spelled J-Me and pronounced Jamie.

And there’s our very own Ix Shen who named himself after Roman numerals, with the very slight possibility that he might have a conversation that goes:

Hi, and you are?

Ix. Ix Shen.

Pleased to meet you, Shen. That’s a bad hiccup you’ve got. Can I get you a glass of water?

Alternatively:

Oh, bless you. You know, you really shouldn’t keep a sneeze in. Damages the nasal passage.

Then there’s Texan child that was named ESPN by his parents, and you know that’s not a girl’s name.

There are

It’s hard to imagine that any of these names are for real. But tell that to the parents of this child in New Zealand who named their kid “4Real”:

Hi, and you are?

4real.

For real?

4real.

Sorry, did you say your name was 4real?

4real, 4real.

4real?

Can we talk about something else now?

There’s more. In 2005, in Texas, no less, a boy was named “Ranger“. I’d like to think his last name was Walker. And I speculate that the mothers of two boys had difficult labours because they called their sons “Rage“. “Jecember” was born in June, and “Philadelphia” was born in San Francisco. But the babies that take the cake are the ones who’ll have no trouble remembering how to spell their names when they’re in kindergarten because they’re called “Abcde” (although pronounced Absidee).

Ha ha. He he. Ho ho. But if you’re going to name your kids something that will invite taunting and ridicule, at least have more than one child and give all of them silly names so that they’ll have company.

If you must, the list is here. (via Bits & Pieces) No, no-one has named their kid Moron yet.

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35 responses to “Mocking names”

  1. i definitely have to plug this cos its the most hilarious thing ive seen for a very long time. all i can say is that parents are veryy creative these days. new and veryy unique baby names viamr miyagi.

  2. massrapid Avatar

    haha, yes there are some intriguing names around… and those unpronounceable ones as well….

    http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=1534419

  3. massrapid Avatar

    haha, yes there are some intriguing names around… and those unpronounceable ones as well….

    http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=1534419

  4. nadnut Avatar

    lol. what ever happened to good old names like Paul, Peter and Joe? “Creativity” kills. (in this case)

  5. nadnut Avatar

    lol. what ever happened to good old names like Paul, Peter and Joe? “Creativity” kills. (in this case)

  6. lancerlord Avatar

    I think I also told someone this (forgot who).

    I had a classmate in school whose name is Nor Ling Choo. People tend to hear as “Oleng Juice” ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. lancerlord Avatar

    I think I also told someone this (forgot who).

    I had a classmate in school whose name is Nor Ling Choo. People tend to hear as “Oleng Juice” ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. moby Avatar

    I’d like to see someone name their baby with a ‘dot com’ in it!

  9. moby Avatar

    I’d like to see someone name their baby with a ‘dot com’ in it!

  10. Zhaki Avatar

    Not sure whether you’re already aware of this, but Five Percent isn’t a rap name.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nation_of_Gods_and_Earths

    They do give themselves out-there names though, and as a study on the evolution of cultures it’s really quite interesting.

  11. Zhaki Avatar

    Not sure whether you’re already aware of this, but Five Percent isn’t a rap name.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nation_of_Gods_and_Earths

    They do give themselves out-there names though, and as a study on the evolution of cultures it’s really quite interesting.

  12. Mr Miyagi Avatar

    My mistake, Zhaki. It really should be “Seven Percent”.

  13. Mr Miyagi Avatar

    My mistake, Zhaki. It really should be “Seven Percent”.

  14. Lia Avatar
    Lia

    i absolutely know what you are talking about.

    i have this TW colleague that named himself “rascal” !!

    no joke, can you believe that? no not a nickname, is an official name use in work and everywhere.

    so our emails always start with: hi rascal…

    ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. Lia Avatar
    Lia

    i absolutely know what you are talking about.

    i have this TW colleague that named himself “rascal” !!

    no joke, can you believe that? no not a nickname, is an official name use in work and everywhere.

    so our emails always start with: hi rascal…

    ๐Ÿ™‚

  16. Kelly Avatar

    I came across names like Cinderella, Dragon, Duck, Pretty…
    Someone kill me…

  17. Kelly Avatar

    I came across names like Cinderella, Dragon, Duck, Pretty…
    Someone kill me…

  18. keith Avatar
    keith

    hmm i dunno if u have received a namecard from Cassino Koh. I got the card in my mailbox both at home and at work.

    a few yrs ago, an icelandic (i might be wrong) couple wanted to give their kid a name made up of numerals and symbols.

  19. keith Avatar
    keith

    hmm i dunno if u have received a namecard from Cassino Koh. I got the card in my mailbox both at home and at work.

    a few yrs ago, an icelandic (i might be wrong) couple wanted to give their kid a name made up of numerals and symbols.

  20. Paul Avatar

    Erm. Met a “Moron” some 5-6 years ago.. so you can scratch that out of your list.

  21. Paul Avatar

    Erm. Met a “Moron” some 5-6 years ago.. so you can scratch that out of your list.

  22. Jiayi Avatar
    Jiayi

    Try naming your son Ed, when your surname is Cetera.

  23. Jiayi Avatar
    Jiayi

    Try naming your son Ed, when your surname is Cetera.

  24. anon Avatar
    anon

    There’s now a Megatron, i’m waiting for the day someone to be named Galvatron.
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/punkjr/698895174/
    http://forums.vr-zone.com/showthread.php?p=3924559

  25. anon Avatar
    anon

    There’s now a Megatron, i’m waiting for the day someone to be named Galvatron.
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/punkjr/698895174/
    http://forums.vr-zone.com/showthread.php?p=3924559

  26. aii Avatar
    aii

    My friend *swears* she saw a baby at a hospital named Bugs-Bunny Tan. She might have been hallucinating?

  27. aii Avatar
    aii

    My friend *swears* she saw a baby at a hospital named Bugs-Bunny Tan. She might have been hallucinating?

  28. Jamie Avatar

    Mr Miyagi, this is my first time commenting on your blog although I visit it quite frequently. This post made me laugh as I had some memories of ‘weird names’.

    During my first year of Uni, I recall spending my first day of Orientation running around the Uni of Melb campus sorting out all the admin stuff. I was waiting in line at the student admin office to have my student ID made and there was a HK student in front of me (could tell from the English accent). She was a 2nd year student and had wanted to include an english name onto her Student Card (which will ultimately appear on ALL documents!). I kid you not about the next thing which I’m about to tell you!

    When it was her turn, she explained to the old lady at the counter of her request.

    Old lady: “that’s fine sweetheart, just fill up this form and we’ll get it done”
    HK Girl: *scribbling away*
    Old Lady: *looks up and asks …* what name would you like to include in your student card?
    HK Girl: Syphillis
    Old Lady: *silent for a minute* I’m sorry, dear .. could you repeat that?
    HK Girl: Syphillis. It’s spelt as S-Y-P-H-I-L-L-I-S. *Hands form over*
    Old Lady: *mortified* .. my dear, are u sure you want this?
    HK Girl: Yah, can I collect my card later?

    I was trying really hard to contain myself the whole time. The correct spelling is actually Syphilis but who cares right. Omg, I wondered if she had her degree cert conferred to her in that name! Wonder if she had a friend name “Gonorrhea”

  29. Jamie Avatar

    Mr Miyagi, this is my first time commenting on your blog although I visit it quite frequently. This post made me laugh as I had some memories of ‘weird names’.

    During my first year of Uni, I recall spending my first day of Orientation running around the Uni of Melb campus sorting out all the admin stuff. I was waiting in line at the student admin office to have my student ID made and there was a HK student in front of me (could tell from the English accent). She was a 2nd year student and had wanted to include an english name onto her Student Card (which will ultimately appear on ALL documents!). I kid you not about the next thing which I’m about to tell you!

    When it was her turn, she explained to the old lady at the counter of her request.

    Old lady: “that’s fine sweetheart, just fill up this form and we’ll get it done”
    HK Girl: *scribbling away*
    Old Lady: *looks up and asks …* what name would you like to include in your student card?
    HK Girl: Syphillis
    Old Lady: *silent for a minute* I’m sorry, dear .. could you repeat that?
    HK Girl: Syphillis. It’s spelt as S-Y-P-H-I-L-L-I-S. *Hands form over*
    Old Lady: *mortified* .. my dear, are u sure you want this?
    HK Girl: Yah, can I collect my card later?

    I was trying really hard to contain myself the whole time. The correct spelling is actually Syphilis but who cares right. Omg, I wondered if she had her degree cert conferred to her in that name! Wonder if she had a friend name “Gonorrhea”

  30. Sheila Avatar

    Oh I also forgot to mention that in my company, under our Global address book, there is a guy in HK whose name is Hymen! I thought Rainbow, Orange, Apple and all these were weird enough but Hymen’s gotta be the killer one!

  31. Sheila Avatar

    Oh I also forgot to mention that in my company, under our Global address book, there is a guy in HK whose name is Hymen! I thought Rainbow, Orange, Apple and all these were weird enough but Hymen’s gotta be the killer one!

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