Better have the handsfree attached when Steph Song calls

Cowboy Caleb sez ‘be consistent in your content’ or something or other. And while I hardly ever apologize for the content of this glob, I’ve been told that the very thing that draws people here is the fact that I drop names and pictures of famous people (even Cowboy’s taken to this, though I think he likes Cheryl Fox ‘cos she’s got a porn star name) and gossip about them, and lately I haven’t been doing that enough.

So, here ’tis:

This morning, while I’m driving a doe, a deer, a very attractive female friend, someone calls on the mobile while I don’t have the handsfree attached and it’s Steph Song!

I hear a whole bunch of expletives, and decide, ok, this one important, better put on handsfree:

You little shit! MISTER MIYAGI eh? My friend emailed me the link to your blog!, said Miss Song, calling all the way from L.A. and not looking a day over 25.

But it’s a blog, and the readers know not everything here is true, and they’ll believe what they want to believe anyway, and they probably believe I don’t really know Steph Song!

Fuck, of course they wanna believe you know me! And I know lotsa people read your blog, or else my friend wouldn’t have emailed me!

That is so not true!

It is, you little meanie! Look at what you did to Fiona Xie!

OK. So, how’s L.A.?

L.A.’s fine, but it’s getting expensive, so I’m coming back. So, can you stop people reading about me on your blog?

Har? You’re coming back? OK, I’ll ask the readers very nicely to stop reading about you here.

You little shit! You’re such an asshole! What did I do to you?

Oh come on! Fair game! How’dja find my new phone number anyways?

I ain’t tellin’ ya, you little shit, you’re gonna write it in your blog, MISTER MIYAGI!

Why don’t you start your own blog and write stuff about me lah!

So, please, all youse readers of this here glob, don’t read the bits about Steph Song, ok? All untrue. Even the stuff I’ve just written.

Ceci n’est pas une pipe

Surf stop: The Ferris Wheel Project
iTunes’ party shuffle is playing a copy of: Way over Yonder – Blessid Union of Souls – Tapestry Revisited: A Tribute to Carole King, of which I have the original CD and therefore didn’t steal music.
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9 responses to “Better have the handsfree attached when Steph Song calls”

  1. phelan Avatar

    I dunno what to make of this? Is this a parody or is it real? 🙂

  2. Mr Miyagi Avatar

    Make of it what you will. Then when Steph Song comes back from L.A., and you happen to bump into her, you can ask her which bits are real and which aren’t. Like the FHM cover, ferinstance.

  3. mb Avatar

    Where got real? All Photoshop one lah! I know this because I read it in someone’s blog. Heheh.

  4. Ah 9 Avatar

    I was there for the bathtub shoot near chinatown…but that’s all im saying for that. hahaha

    my first impression of her, very polite…very cute…very good english…endless beautiful eyes. 🙂

  5. Ang Ku Kueh Avatar


    You sure? you mean it’s all photoshop? Gosh, hope you’re right, that would make alot of gals happy….including me…

  6. gstrings Avatar

    someday xiaxue would be on FHM. You all just watch.

  7. ivan Avatar

    yah… and she’ll do her own photoshopping.

  8. cour marly Avatar

    And you do know what “une pipe” means in french slang. Right?

  9. Curtis G Avatar

    Jeeeeez. Is this what I get for watching AznTV and being curious about that cute girl I saw on “Achar!”? I had no idea I would be thrust into a real-life bi-national cyber soap opera.

    Steph Song, eh? Cute. Natural. Is she still in LA? ‘Cause I could sure go for a coffee right now.

    And one more thing. For some naive reason, I thought Singaporeans spoke some other language besides English. So I don’t even need a language dictionary? I’ll be right over!

    “Singapore: More English spoken than in Southern California.”

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