Last Saturday (as in before Chinese New Year), I received an SMS from my friend Dilbert who is a journo.
Dilbert works for a paper that loves showcasing foreign talent of the sleazy kind, and so it is hard work for him, having to trawl the underbelly of Singapore at night. This time, big story, he said, asking me and another friend of his to join him at pub/ktvlounge-hopping in the Joo Chiat area.
Our sources told us that if you can’t pull chicks in the Joo Chiat area, you are damn loser one, man!
So, we went to our first pub where there was bartop dancing done very nicely by a very nice young lady in a bikini top and leather skirt. We wouldn’t have minded if we pulled her. But of course, we didn’t, and there weren’t enough chicks in the pub to go around. There weren’t enough chicks in the other pubs to go around either.
Plus, the USS Abraham “Mission Accomplished” Lincoln was in port that night, spilling out her 6000+ Ang Moh sailors and airmen onto our streets, such that we damn loser one lor!
Apart from the sailors and airmen, Joo Chiat was pretty quiet, and not the cowboy town our sources told us it would be. Sure there were many women of different Asian nationalities patronizing the many establishments, as well as several eateries catering to these nationalities. But it was almost eerily quiet for a street where nearby residents have been complaining about noise, about undesirable women, about drunks, and whose complaints have gained enough momentum for them to start a ‘Save Joo Chiat Campaign’.
Nutters! There’s nothing undesirable about those women! Especially the one dancing on the bartop. And some more, if you drink too much to drive, you can check yourself into one of the many Hotel 81s along the street to sleep off the alcohol. How convenient is that? Speaking of which, there are a lot of convenience stores on the street too, if you need to buy toiletries for your stay.
I think all that the residents nearby are doing (like on Everitt Road) will just make lawyers earn more! Save Joo Chiat my foot! Speaking of which, there are lots of ‘Foot Reflexologist’ shops on that strip too!
Take away all that is Joo Chiat now, and you might as well have a sign that reads ‘Welcome to Dulltown, this is what death feels like, but the weather is quite nice, and we have no foreigners here from whom you can buy sexual favours’.
Wait for it (Click, like, now, cos article ‘expires’ real soon).