Blessings from between heaven and earth

I had a break in work yesterday morning and so I drove myself and my business partner to breakfast. In the car, he noticed three large blotches of birdshit on the windscreen, and laughed his head off. Totally understandable, because the blotches were so big they looked like upturned tubs of chutney (without the tubs).

Maybe because it was a slow morning and there wasn’t much else to laugh about, the business partner kept laughing about the birdshit, which was stubborn enough to resist several squirts from the windscreen wash thing (what is that thing called?). He laughed halfway through breakfast until he was stopped by a quite audible plop. He’d been shat on by what must have been a really, really big bird. The blotch on his shoulder was so big it looked like an upturned tub of cucumber raita (without the tub).

After helping him clean his shirt and our hands, we settled down to resume breakfast, but we were interrupted by the coffee shop auntie who asked, ‘Niao da bian ah? (did a bird just defecate on you, you poor dear ah?)’.

Auntie exhorted us to buy 4D, using the unit number of her shop, saying the last time someone got shat on, he struck big time and bought her a meal.

We said ok, just so she’d leave us alone with our meepok breakfast.

But this morning, she came by again and told us we owed her a meal because the unit number turned out last night to be one of the starter prizes.

Fucking birds.

Novena Coffee Shop
Big tree give us shade. Big tree also give us birds perched and primed to unload: Novena coffee shop

Surf stop: women will get sterile just looking at you
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13 responses to “Blessings from between heaven and earth”

  1. My RSSs Mr Brown Rockson Roy Ng Stylemywords Scott Adams RSSMiyagi

  2. Ah 9 Avatar

    don’t you juz love them birds…drop their load right on target…and when u dun buy toto…that one also kena. 😛

  3. Ah 9 Avatar

    don’t you juz love them birds…drop their load right on target…and when u dun buy toto…that one also kena. 😛

  4. Jo-Yee Avatar
    Jo-Yee

    arh! why didnt u buy? lolz

  5. Jo-Yee Avatar
    Jo-Yee

    arh! why didnt u buy? lolz

  6. TriplePeriod Avatar

    You will be surprised how “zun” this freak events ah. A friend’s car kena 2nd prize immediately after he kena 2 summons in one day. Just 2 weeks ago, a friend of mine “hit head prize” somewhere and his number came out twice(permutation) in a row as starters. Right now, I’m just waiting for someone to knock me up or for bird shit to fall.

  7. TriplePeriod Avatar

    You will be surprised how “zun” this freak events ah. A friend’s car kena 2nd prize immediately after he kena 2 summons in one day. Just 2 weeks ago, a friend of mine “hit head prize” somewhere and his number came out twice(permutation) in a row as starters. Right now, I’m just waiting for someone to knock me up or for bird shit to fall.

  8. Zen|th Avatar

    Wah. Like that also can. Now you have a reason for wanting to get shitted upon.

    Actually birds have no rectums, so can’t control their flying shit.

  9. Zen|th Avatar

    Wah. Like that also can. Now you have a reason for wanting to get shitted upon.

    Actually birds have no rectums, so can’t control their flying shit.

  10. keithf Avatar

    Animals bring luck. Once there was a new puppy in the house, we ‘made’ it to pick 4nos. And it came up starters as well.

  11. keithf Avatar

    Animals bring luck. Once there was a new puppy in the house, we ‘made’ it to pick 4nos. And it came up starters as well.

  12. lancerlord Avatar

    Bird shit can. Gao Sai also can. My friend da dio gao sai also kena 4d.

    By the way, think the wash thingy on the car is referred to as the washer.

  13. lancerlord Avatar

    Bird shit can. Gao Sai also can. My friend da dio gao sai also kena 4d.

    By the way, think the wash thingy on the car is referred to as the washer.

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