Mercedes Benz 0, Ants 20,000

This afternoon, I reverse-parked the tank against shrubbery growing on the fence at Chatsworth School, and twenty colonies of ants decided today was a good day for an exodus, and the tank looked like the Promised Land. Three hours later, there are several black masses (which l fortunately managed to pick out against the dark blue of the car) on various parts of the tank’s surface. It looked worse when the doors were opened. Black streams picking out choice resettlement locations under the rubber seals, seat pockets, et cetera. I’d have been mesmerised if not for the fact it was my car they were looking to possess.

And PP thinks ants in her water jug is something to shout about. Bah! You call that an infestation?

After a good half hour swatting several dozen off my limbs, I managed to sweep off the majority of the exodus onto the road, and some while trying to drive quickly. Am waiting for it to storm heavily so the rest will be swept off. The rest of the diaspora can suffocate in the car, hopefully.

(Ben’s Benz: Mercedes-Benz 300SEL [1986], the original MPV: you can fit 20,000 ants, 4 golf bags and a mini-trampoline in the back seat. Not that I play golf).

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