Benjamin "Mr Miyagi" Lee
Economic prospects shaky for the year? There’s hope for Malaysia, as Channelnewsasia.com reports that people there are buying sexy lingerie for the dead for Qing Ming.
“Most customers find them cute and would usually add a few sets to go with other paper clothing and items such as dresses, bags and shoes for their female family members to use in the other world,” she said.
The look this season? Sexy, racy and spooky.
I can’t remember if it was in primary school or secondary school, when we were on the football/rugby field, and when sledging was de rigeuer but mostly harmless.
Things like “Your momma must be ugly cos you ugly too” were tossed back and forth. And it took a real sporting talent to come up with a killer taunt/sledge. (The all-time prize goes to Zimbabwean cricketer Eddo Brandes, who when the legendary Australian bowler Glenn McGrath inquired of him with full intent to insult, “Why are you so fat, you fat cunt?”, very quickly but calmly came back with, “Because every time I fuck your wife, she gives me a biscuit”.)
But on our humbler, less talented playing fields, the winner as far as I remember, was this response to a typical “Yo Momma” taunt that sent every player from either team rolling on the grass:
“You… you… you… Your Mother No Nipple!”
OK, I was only reminded of that because of this mildly interesting post about a Pro-Wrestling poster in Florida which has had the nipples of the wrestlers photoshopped out because of a misinterpretation of a law in that state which prohibits the display of (female) nipples.
 “I said ‘have you tried doing it outdoors on the picnic table’, I didn’t say “have you tried doing it outdoors WITH the picnic table”!
An Ohio man was charged with public indecency after his neighbour videotaped him having sex with his picnic table.
“The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table…”
Exciting new positions: Look up your IKEA instructions now!
