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Tag: Singlish

Two kinds of horror

I got diaper duty Sunday afternoon when we were at Paragon because Naomi was busy at some shop – so Kai and I made our way to the diaper change room at level 5 to get him cleaned up.

He knows the drill, and he’s familiar with the change room, which is small, functional, and quiet enough to keep your baby/toddler calm while you change him, except when it is on occasion invaded (there are no locks on the sliding door) by Paragon staff looking to get hot water from what seems to be the only hot water dispenser in the building. Apart from that, it’s kept pretty clean, and we like it.

However, on Sunday, when we were changing Kai’s diaper, a woman came in with her helper and baby, and went about trying to get her changed as well. She kept admonishing her helper for not being gentle enough with her baby – which is ok, cos you really want people to handle your child the right way – and then she asked if I was about to use the sink next to me. I said I wasn’t going to yet, because I was still putting Kai’s pants back on.

She then thanked me and then proceeded to put her now diaperless daughter into the sink SO SHE COULD WASH HER POOP OFF IN THE SINK!

Anyone else seen this happen? I was so horrified I didn’t know what to say to the crazy inconsiderate woman.

The other thing that’s made me cringe in horror is this CD they sometimes play in kids’ shops – a CD of songs sung by kids with very strong Singlish accents. I’m really sorry, and I know it’s just me and my snobbishnessness, and if I can accept that the old Ribena ad from the ’70s is cute, then there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the harmonious sounds of children singing:

Twinker Twinker Leeter Star
How I One Der Wa’ You Are
Upper Ber Der Were So High
Lai Ker Die Mern In Der Sky
Twinker Twinker Leeter Star
How I One Der Wa’ You Are

One Litre Two Litre Tree Litre Indian
Four Litre Fye Litre Sikhs Litre Indian
Seven Litre Eight Litre Nigh Litre Indian
Tan Litre Indian Boys

State of the nation

Almost every other blog post this month has been about the baby, so Naomi and I have endeavoured to keep abreast (breastfeeding pun not intended) of current news and happenings here:

1) It is heartening to note that home grown brand Cedele is spelling things as they pronounce them:

Crips!

2) Just as heartening that the “Home Team” is very confident that none of these vehicles pose any security threat to the SGX building as they stop right on the No Stopping multiple zigzag lines on the lane behind it. (Makes sense – no need to sabotage a weak stock exchange):

No stopping behind SGX, or mebbe can...

3) There are monks earning $20K a month!

4) That some nominated MPs aren’t seeking another term.

And I have Naomi to thank for telling me that the Straits Times article talking about this was accurate in calling Eunice Olsen a musician. I was about to make a monkey of myself making lewd remarks about the instruments Miss Olsen might play. Apparently she plays the keyboards and is in a band.

Quite a cool band it looks like too, although I really do have a bone to pick with biographies that go, “Shahn first picked up a guitar when he was 16”, because the next logical line should be, “before that, he was only strong enough to pick up smaller objects”.

Underworld childbirth

Yesterday we congratulated our friends Mika and Gary because they’re brand new parents to a brand new baby boy, and we went and visited them at KKH just a couple of hours after she’d returned to the ward and enjoyed her first couple of hours of motherhood.

It was a happy afternoon all round, and it’s always a happy feeling around the maternity ward and the nursery and it was probably the only place in the whole world where I would have completely understood what the women in the corridors were talking about when they were discussing the merits of natural childbirth as opposed to a Sicilian one.