Eating the twelve days of Christmas

Meat lovers' Christmas lunch

Meat lovers’ Christmas lunch

We ate Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day and we’re probably gonna be eating the weekend as well.

We’ve been feasting so much because you gotta have turkey and you gotta have ham, and those things can only come in certain sizes – there’s no fun-sized turkeys or hams – they’re big birds and um… pigs.

And while we were at it, we had a leg of lamb as well. Just the one leg, so it wasn’t that bad.

Still Christmas Eve dinner and the leftover meals were enough to give you indigestion and nightmares – which is a small price to pay, really.

Unless of course, your nightmares were about being a tv or radio presenter, all glammed up, but when you opened your mouth, the only thing that came out of your mouth was the phrase, “Only on AXN“, spoken exactly like Jaymee Ong, which is exactly like the sound a door makes when its hinges need oiling.

It’s a horrible dream, and I wish no one ever suffers one like that, much less actually really sound like that when they speak.

Double boiled pear dessertDouble-boiled pear dessert made by my aunt

Mum's Nespresso machine

The Nespresso machine’s pretty handy with Christmas lunch-induced coma