When I was in the Army, someone gave me a gift which was supposed to be the China Army version of the Swiss Army knife. We know the latter to be chock full of useful tools which you might need, like a foldaway magnifying glass to look for the tiny screw which you’ve struggled to place in an equally tiny hole with your tiny screwdriver from the same tool.
But the China Army knife came one (or two) better – there was a foldaway fork and a foldaway spoon, so that you could eat your foldaway meals without using your fingers. Problem was, you could only use one of them at a time, even though the spoon and fork folded out at opposite ends of the tool.
Here’s a gift idea that’s just as useless, and which we saw featured on Fox News, it’s called “The Back Up“, and it’s a cradle that attaches to your bed for to cradle your shotgun where you can reach it while you sleep. “Keep Your Gun By Your Side!”, says the website, “Put your shotgun where you an reach it, instead of some out of the way place where it does you no good!”
As you can imagine, it’s not the gift for everyone. Or as one of the commenters on the YouTube page quips, “This is only for fools who don’t wear their shoulder holster to bed”.
“I told you a thousand times before, put your gun in The Back Up, that’s what I bought it for!”
“But darling, that’s not my gun. It’s loaded though”.