Another day another interview

In return for allowing the best photograph of myself on his blog, I am now digging through my Adventures in Hong Kong archives for sordid details and pictures of Cowboy Caleb’s Pre-Marital Adventures in Wanchai and I remember this totally useless (until now) phone conversation I had with him:

Eh, Miyagi, come join us. I am so high.

Where the fugayou?

In a bar. I am so high.

Where lah, cheebye?

Somewhere in Wanchai, there’s a chick dancing on the table. I am so high.

Where in Wanchai?

I dunno man, I am so high.

Who are you with?

I am sooooo hiiiigghhh.

I agreed to Caleb’s request for an interview tonight because it’s been a while since I’ve been interviewed, and you know what a media slut I am. I’d pose for FHM if I could. So being put on the spot with pointed questions about my sexual orientation (orientation? orientation? taupok or taukwa or taunee?) is nuffin!

But anyway, I’m really looking forward to the coming interviews in Caleb’s series. Completely unedited. Completely rool life. Not like Chennai News Asia.

Never tell a blogger anything about yourself unless you want it known to the whole wired world. Now go read the first instalment of Cowboy Caleb’s Almost Daily Interview.

Caleb on one of his ‘I hate my job’ days.

iTunes’ party shuffle is playing a copy of: Chardonnay – Cerys Matthews – Cockahoop, of which I have the original CD and therefore didn’t steal music.

Slipped through the net, this one

Jamie Han Li Chou, are you mad? Brave? Foolish? Drunk? Have you no concern for your family? Mum and Dad must be shitting bricks reading the news. What do you think this is? A western liberal democracy? Where are your Asian values? So near Chinese New Year some more!

Organise yourself! Or else just write blogs like the rest of us! (If you don’t know how to, MM Lee has a friend who can help you set one up) It’s easy! Like so:

Heard this joke once, and I laughed then:

Drunk man to police officer: Offffffissser!

Police Officer: Yes? How can I help you?

Drunk man: Issit a crime to think?

Police Officer: Of course not.

Drunk man: Wellll then… I THINK you’re a fucking cunt!

The Revolution WILL be televised!

iTunes’ party shuffle is playing a copy of: Cupid Must Be Angry – Nick Lowe – The Convincer, of which I have the original CD and therefore didn’t steal music.

Even larger than life in Meatspace (Mr Miyagi forget to bring camera)

So, Adri had to bugger off to the Night Safari, which was a pity, really, because that meant we were short of one very good set of brains to pick. But then, nair mind, the doyen of Singapore bloggers, Mr Brown, arrived soon after, knocking over some chairs and almost a table at Cafe Cartel before he got to the table.

And what a table it was too. I got to sit next to Xiaxue, who sat next to Preetamrai, who sat next to La Idler, who sat next to Agagooga, who sat opposite Myrick, who sat next to Mr & Mrs Acorn, who sat next to The Calm One (Neh? the One, so Calm until stop blogging?), who sat next to Mr Brown, who sat opposite me.

So many things we talked about, and I was in charge of doling out gossip. Everything I know about the bloggers I know is now in the reliable hands of the abovenamed. They might choose to do something about it, so stay tuned!

Of course, one of the more important things we discussed was blogging. My contribution was ‘how to increase your page hits’, although that was only limited to ‘putting up a photo of Fiona Xie’. Preetamrai, on the other hand (where there are also five fingers), offered a solution to parents who want to know if their teenage children have blogs: buy them a gift, then google ‘my mother/father/parents bought me a gift’.

Xiaxue, who I think makes a darn good journo/media personality with her incessant probing and baiting, contributed in her own inimitable way, very generously offering to let me feel her up. (That’s when Mr Brown choked, coughed and sneezed one piece of macaroni back onto his plate, decent family man that he is). I declined, of course, knowing that if I had as much as sampled her offer, I’d be splashed all over her blog as the sleazy old bloke who squeezed her tit at Cafe Cartel. As the others would agree, you cannot buy this kind of experience, man… eh, actually, you can, but that one has got little to do with blogger meet-ups.

Night safari photo taken by Adri

Xiaxue's wallet
What’s in Xiaxue’s wallet? Xiaxue’s photos, lah! What?

iTunes’ party shuffle is playing a copy of: It’s Just Not Cricket – The 12th Man – The 12th Man, of which I have the original CD and therefore didn’t steal music.

My son keeps playing internet games

That was the search phrase used on Google by an obviously concerned parent yesterday, and somehow this glob appeared on the results pages. Funny, that.

So, you kiddies out there, watch out, don’t play so much, your parents are very up to date on matters pertaining to technology and they know what you’re up to. I tell you, they really read up and research extensively. My aunts, uncles and miscellaneous older relatives all like to ask known authorities on things to do with technology, and every Chinese New Year, they’d ask me, because I am a known authority on things to do with technology.

“Wah, this ingterneck very good ah? No need to write letter anymore, just emu can already! You have emu? You emu me lah! I have emu! I have hotmew! You emu me to auntie underscore lilly at hotmew dock com lah! I check my emu every day one! What is your emu?

This was maybe two New Years ago. Last year was:

“I have brogbang! My grandchurren all oversea also got brogbang! Can talk and see each other, you know!?”

This year it could very well have to do with blogging, seeing as my mug’s been on the telly and on the papers, and some family friends have already been asking about blogging (No, auntie, blogging is not just for teeng agers.)

Better than the aunties twittering on about “Boy ah, why not married yet? Why no girlfriend?” (Because I still want to get ang pow from you, is why, auntie).

Then again, it could very well turn out to be:

“Boy ah, why not married yet? Why no girlfriend? Use ingterneck lah! My grandson always use ingterneck! ICQ lah, IRC lah, Messenger lah, all can make friends what! Ingterneck good you know? Now got brogbang, can talk and see each other also you know?!”

Auntie, I don’t have webcam.

“Why no webcam? I have webcam you know?! Webcam and brogbang!”


(Shudder, sekali Auntie Lilly read this blog, tomorrow sure got emu from her.)

Part of George Bush’s $10,000 donation

Surf stop: Antipixel
iTunes’ party shuffle is playing a copy of: Pebble Beach – Vince Guaraldi Trio – Jazz Impressions Of A Boy Named Charlie Brown, of which I have the original CD and therefore didn’t steal music.