Your English also temporary out of service lah!

The Speak Good English Campaign may be working. But the Write English Just As Good one hasn’t been launched yet, which explains this sign at Changi Airport Terminal One:

Your English also out of service


I’m not even going to ask why there’s a semi-permanent placard that announces computer breakdowns.

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The biggest day of our lives so far

The bridal bouquet

Thanks for your well-wishes and congratulations, if you’ve made any. Me and my wife, wife! Yes, wife! …

…me and my wife are recovering from the wedding, and we’ll be returning to work in the morning. But oh what a Sunday, and oh, what a wedding!

Friends and family alike know that this was a ‘simple ROM solemnisation and dinner’ with a little extra trimming here and there, including speeches from my best man, my business partners, and myself.

We had tea ceremonies at my in-laws, in-laws! Yes, in-laws!… and then a couple of hours’ break at the hotel, where, despite the madness that had been the preparation, or lack of, of the wedding, my fiancée nestled her head in my chest and closed her eyes to nap the last couple of hours before we were married, and I was an oasis of calm.

Then, she yelled at me, saying, ‘dammit, I can’t sleep like that when you’re heart is pounding so loudly!’

The rings
The rings

And in other news…

Picked up our marriage certificate
The marriage certificate

Picked up a parking fine as well
and the parking fine

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Many miles to go

Drinks break
And many more coffee breaks on the way

I’m having a week like no other doing stuff for the wedding ceremonies. Like doing last minute arrangements with florists, last minute arrangements with the caterers, and last minute arrangements with the photographers.

I read somewhere that a day’s lack of sleep can cause your IQ to drop by as much as ten points. Or is it ten sleep of points drops your IQ by a day? Or sleep ten days? Or IQ sleep? Or ah fuckit never mind lah.

Nearly driving into the sea

South Stack
South Stack, North Wales

fferambaileymap.pngAbout ten years ago, I got lost trying to get to my cousins’ farmhouse in North Wales and nearly drove all the way into the sea.

‘It’s called Fferam Bailey, Benny, you can’t miss it’, said my uncle who was trying to give me directions as I drove northwest from London. Poring through the excellent Ordnance Survey (OS) maps, (which I think are the bestest maps in the world, bar none) I grumbled at the Malaysian-ness of my uncle’s instructions – my Malaysian relatives always did that – give incomplete driving instructions like, ‘ah, you coming up to visit? so remember to turn off the highway then go down the main road and then turn up the side road ah?’

There are never standard directions like north or south or even left or right. Just off and down and up. And that makes it very difficult to navigate because down and up are dependent on how that relative is visualising and orienting his mental map. If his or her brain is holding their maps upside down or even sideways, you’re basically a goner. Lost for good.

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