Slipped through the net, this one

Jamie Han Li Chou, are you mad? Brave? Foolish? Drunk? Have you no concern for your family? Mum and Dad must be shitting bricks reading the news. What do you think this is? A western liberal democracy? Where are your Asian values? So near Chinese New Year some more!

Organise yourself! Or else just write blogs like the rest of us! (If you don’t know how to, MM Lee has a friend who can help you set one up) It’s easy! Like so:

Heard this joke once, and I laughed then:

Drunk man to police officer: Offffffissser!

Police Officer: Yes? How can I help you?

Drunk man: Issit a crime to think?

Police Officer: Of course not.

Drunk man: Wellll then… I THINK you’re a fucking cunt!

The Revolution WILL be televised!

iTunes’ party shuffle is playing a copy of: Cupid Must Be Angry – Nick Lowe – The Convincer, of which I have the original CD and therefore didn’t steal music.

Our hearts are not in it

Chinese New Year being so close to Valentines Day is a double whammy. The relatives will be at it, the well-meaning friends will be at it. The perpetually single and desperate will be at it. The Vietnamese/Kalimantanese bride agencies will be at it. Some among us singulars will be feeling mighty lonely, and for some of us, denial sets in hard and fast.

So far, I’ve only read women who’ve voiced anxiety about the next fortnight. The boyz? Boh Chup!

From IdleThink:

but Cupid can eat my shorts.

(I mean, he already ate his own).

From LMD:

My friends are at it again. I have to give them credit for persistence.

From Panicky Pussy:

…Jesus Christ, can’t a girl have any peace?!

After work, I just want to go home and relax. I don’t want to go out, I don’t want to make conversation while I’m working, I don’t want you to SMS me to have sweet dreams and I sure as hell don’t want you to whisper sweet nothings into my ear over the phone…

…Vday is coming up dammit.

From Ma vie en direct:

…Anyway, mom just pulled that on me again when she asked if I was tired from getting home so late tonight. Stupidly, I said that I did feel a smidge worn, and she retorted that I needed to get married. If I got married then I wouldn’t be so tired…

From ppBlogz:

…I’ve always envied mums with lots of kids to take care of (with a little help from the maids, of coz) but geeze housewives have alot of problems too! I guess the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence hehehe.

It’s good to be single and freeeeeee…. for now.

Straits Termite Co. Pte Ltd
Wanna buy termites? I have lobang!

Surf stop: Surf stop? Surf stop? Give you five chick blogs you still want Surf stop? Wah lao eh!

Even fewer reasons not to own a Mac

Damn you, Apple! Now must readjust budget again:

As one of many Mac fans that don’t actually own a Mac (though I did between 1984 and 1997), I’m stoked to see falling prices and new and exciting features. Like the ‘Sudden Motion Sensor’. If I had a Powerbook, I could walk and surf, commute and compute, without fear of losing any data were I to be as careless as to drop the Powerbook.

iTunes’ party shuffle is playing a copy of: I’ve Got You Under My Skin – Diana Krall – When I Look In Your Eyes, of which I have the original CD and therefore didn’t steal music.

Run left, run right on manic Monday

As Mr Brown said the other day, it’s a good time to be a blogger. Even better to be a blogger who runs out of things to write but gets inspired by what other bloggers are doing. Today, Cheeky does a pretty good job of adapting Jimmy’s Liao’s Turn Left Turn Right (neh, the one made into a movie starring Gigi Leung and Takeshi Kaneshiro, and produced by Raintree, thereby destroying it’s chances of being a decent movie, neh, that one?):

Like 2 MRT trains running on parallel tracks,
They ran past each other countless of time but never once langga.
He always turned left,
Because the dustbin was on the left.
She always turned right,
Because the toilet was on the right.
Taking escalator at the same time,
He always went up (can see upskirt),
She always went down (ZARA and MANGO located on the ground floor).
Taking the bus at the same time,
One always boarded the bus,
While the other always alighted from the bus (EZ Link no money left).

When I say inspired, I mean inspired enough to cut and paste and attribute it to the author, not inspired enough to come up with sumfin to call me own. And if you’ve got lotsa other stuff you ought to be doing, blogging or reading other people’s blogs seldom helps.

So, prease, chewren, faster finish your homework then come back and read. The blog and it’s archives will stew be here. Don’t tell your lecturer your assignment is overdue because Mr Miyagi make you read his blog. Your marder farder cancel your ingterneck then you know.

In other matters, only (good) bloggers can make touch footy sound like an extreme sport. For goonisssakes, fellas, we wuz running in slow motion! Well, at least, I was!

The other casualty of yesterday’s Rumble in the Puddle was a previously pristine white tank-top stained pink/purple by hair-dye that ran. Well, gurl, at least your hair colour ran more than you did! Whassat you say? Brings it on? Come lah! WHO SCARED WHO?

(Today’s Sports Section is brought to you by “Concerned Spectators’ Fund for a Sports Bra for LMD“)

Mr Miyagi in his heyday

iTunes’ party shuffle is playing a copy of: 12th Man Again! (Continued) – The 12th Man – 12th Man Again!, of which I have the original CD and therefore didn’t steal music.