If you’re ever in Singapore, I’ll buy you a very useful guided tour of the Esplanade – only $8, don’t worry – which is really great, for if you didn’t have that guided tour, you wouldn’t know what the inside of the building looked like. Serious.
In that building, by the way, is a little eatery called ‘Max Brenner Chocolate Bar’, where apparently, you get to eat lots of nice chocolatey stuff. I haven’t tried anything there because when I walked in on Sunday night at 10.27pm and asked what time they closed, the little fucker of a waiter said, “Our last order is 10.15… it is now 10.27… so, we are not taking orders anymore… so… yes… we are closed”.
I’ve got your number, you little wanker with the dyed and rebonded hair! Your shop takes its last orders at 10.45pm! It says so on the website! For that, Max Brenner is gonna come down personally and shave you bald.
â€œHi there everybody, Iâ€™m Shenise Wong from the sunny island of Singapore! Iâ€™m 23 years old and work as an advertising account executive. I enjoy spending lazy Sundays afternoons at the beach and dancing the nights away to a Salsa beat. If you happen to be visiting Singapore, I could always show you the best local places to eat, shop, and party! So Vote for me, and may all you days be filled with sun and laughter.â€
Yes, that’s right. She said vote for Mr Miyagi. You heard her. Go!