It was a miserably grey Sunday. By miserable, I mean the Singapore sort of miserable. Overcast, hot and still very humid from the morning’s thunderstorm. I had intended to set out to Pasir Ris Park to see about renting a kayak, and after a good half hour’s drive, I got there only to discover that the kayak shop where I used to rent kayaks from was no more.
There was however, a People’s Association Sea Sports Centre Club thing, and that looked promising. So I went in and asked about renting a kayak.
Are you a member?
We rent to members only. And even if you joined today we need to see certification of your kayak proficiency.
What the deuce?! I am a Kayaking God, for crying out loud! I said.
I’ve been kayaking the open seas since you were in nappies, I said some more.
I’ve kayaked to Tioman, met sharks, sea turtles, braved the biggest storms and been so sunburnt my mother didn’t recognise me when I came home, I went on.
After I mentally shouted at the Sea Spock Crub guy like that, I then spent about three minutes mentally giving him several one-twos with my imaginary paddle.
No, Kayaking God, Nooooooooo…. OK, OK we give you kayak. You can kayak all you want for free! Any time. Our crub is your crub!
Good. I want a monthly ceremony where you pick a nubile young female kayaker as a human sacrifice to honour me. And she has to be a cutie.
So, after I put my errant subjects in their place, I walked around the park for something else to do. There was nothing. Unless I wanted to pay $1 to enter this miserable petting zoo at the Fisherman’s Village where you could pay $1 to enter and pet such cuddly creatures as fish, chickens and ducks.
I left Pasir Ris feeling really crabby. Speaking of crabs, she had some recently, and recently my friend’s boyfriend was tasked to make bookings for a holiday in Krabi, and so he went online and googled, yahood, msn’d and dogpiled ‘Crabby’, then complained he couldn’t find much information on Crabby, Thailand.