Cosa nostra

For us to live any other way was nuts. Uh, to us, those goody-good people who worked shitty jobs for bum paychecks and took the subway to work every day, and worried about their bills, were dead. I mean they were suckers. They had no balls. If we wanted something we just took it. If anyone complained twice they got hit so bad, believe me, they never complained again.

~”Henry Hill” – Goodfellas

So, the waiting staff at NYDC nervously served us while we ate, chatted and took turns taking pictures of each other. Nervous because you know what happens if you cross some bloggers, like say, if you stole their taxis, y’know? Man, we were so powerful, mr brown was even able to get the waitress to lower the volume of the music, so we could like, talk business.

Da rest of da crew, Darollo, da Calm One, da Idler, Jimmy da Geek and Preetamio, dey did a good job of cleaning up da mess. Dey had a system. You gotta have a system.

Sorely missed was Cowboy Caleb, who was on undercover assignment tonight on an ongoing covert operation. Xiaxue and Adri were there, and that’s all that matters. Xiaxue was sporting a glorious tan, Adri was carrying a Paul Theroux book, and I love them both very, very much. But Adri, she says we shouldn’t blog about how much we are in love, because that’s just not done. So I will stop gushing now.

Nervous waiter serves Xiaxue
Nervous waiter takes orders from Xiaxue.

Simi sai also take

Adri and her uncles
Angel’s Charlies I

Xiaxue and her uncles
Angel’s Charlies II

Surf stop: in transit
iTunes’ party shuffle is playing a copy of: Murder Incorporated – Bruce Springsteen – Greatest Hits, of which I have the original CD and therefore didn’t steal music.

Look! What’s that up there?

The week starts off well enough, and then you get the Wednesday sag.

But of course, there’s always this blog to distract me by giving me things to write about, pictures to look at, and podcasts to listen to. And remember, if you think it’s all going to the dogs, what about the 35,000 new jobs about to be created? Cool huh?

Have a toothache? What about the 35,000 new jobs?

Your ass hurts? What about the 35,000 new jobs? Cool huh?

Got essays to write that you don’t really want to? What about the 35,000 new jobs? Cool, non?

Stuffed up royally at work? Hey look, what’s that? 35,000 new jobs!

Surrounded by fuckwits who don’t appreciate you? Forget them, but don’t forget the 35,000 new jobs!

Left your mobile phone behind while buying ‘stuff’ at 7-11? Hey, 35,000 new jobs! Cool leh!

No time to blog? Never mind! There are 35,000 new jobs, what.

Too many blogs to read? Who cares? Got 35,000 new jobs, y’know?

Your wife’s leaving you for the contractor, your kids don’t want to call you Papa, your dog died, you got retrenched, your car got shat on by birds while you were parked in an underground carpark, but look! What’s that up there? Thirty Five Thousand New Jobs!

Looooong arm!

Surf stop: ..::kellog::..
iTunes’ party shuffle is playing a copy of: Between Dark And Dawn – Nick Lowe – The Convincer, of which I have the original CD and therefore didn’t steal music.

WTF is an IR?

Gambling is so much a part of life here that it is ridiculous to see how much fuss has been made about building the two ‘Integrated Resorts’.

I’m game for a flutter once in a while too. So do my friends. We gamble on anything: the stockmarket, when to buy a car because of the COE prices, when not to put a parking coupon because we think the parking auntie is not rain-proof, any four-number combination that catches our eye (like the registration plates of an upside down car my friend saw at a road accident scene, which prompted him to buy 4D, but the winning number came out in reverse sequence, so he lost his money).

Once, we even caught an iguana, strung it up, and made it pick out 4D numbers from scraps of paper. (Also nair win, but we cooked the bugger and ate it).

When we were living in Sydney, my friends and I would go to Star City because the parking was the cheapest in town, go out and have dinner, then come back to the casino for a flutter, hoping to win back our parking fees. Then we’d go home. When we had a bit more time, we’d stay there longer, because if you gambled at the tables, they’d serve you free drinks and snacks like chicken wings and spring rolls. And when we had even more time, we’d drive the 10 hours to Melbourne’s Crown Casino, or the Gold Coast’s Jupiter’s or Canberra’s No-One-Comes-Here-Even-Though-It’s-Nearer-Than-Melbourne-or-Gold Coast Casino.

The point is, nothing will stop you gambling if you were so inclined. If you really needed a casino to gamble in, there’s Genting up north, which is, by all descriptions, an ‘Integrated Resort’, there’s Macau a couple of hours away, and there’s one in Manila as well. If there were an $100 entrance fee imposed, and if I were a gambler, I’d pay, go in, sit at the table and try to win back my $100 from the fuckers.

Singapore’s Last Resort Island (photo by Edgar320)

iTunes’ party shuffle is playing a copy of: Siempre con Swing (Intro) – Orlando “Cachaito” Lopez – Cachaito, of which I have the original CD and therefore didn’t steal music.

You just wait and see

Don’t believe? My father told me ages ago there was gonna be a casino in Singapore. He’s usually right about these things. (He told me in 1992 that you would be able to buy mobile phones for $0 if the telcos made you sign a two-year service contract or something).

And now that you’ve seen the cows all over the place, you just wait and see. The Fcuking NTUC is gonna wanna get in on the casino deal. You heard it here first. My father says so too.

Workers’ Co-operative my ass!

MJ loses her balloon
Don’t worry, sweetie, I’ll get you another balloon

iTunes’ party shuffle is playing a copy of: Respect – Aretha Franklin – The Very Best of Aretha Franklin, Vol. 1, of which I have the original CD and therefore didn’t steal music.

Tracy Huang, Space Invaders and the girlfriend from hell

I once briefly dated this girl from college and we had an intense relationship.

First time I stayed over, she told me, ‘my step-mum’s at home, so we’ll have to behave’.

I said ok, and off we went, quietly. I got out to the kitchen to get a drink, and I’m thinking to myself, I think I might’ve been drugged.

Because, in the living room playing Space Invaders (it was a long time ago) in her t-shirt and shorts but still easily recognisable, was Tracy Huang! Huang Ying Ying! Huang Ruyi! Tracy!

I forgot my drink, went back to the bedroom, and asked the girlfriend, ‘What’s Tracy Huang doing in the living room playing Space Invaders?’

‘Oh, so you’ve met my step-mum, Tracy’.

‘Your what??’

‘Din I tell you my step-mum’s Tracy?’

‘No! I thought you were telling me her name and I thought you were weird for telling me her name, but this is THE TRACY HUANG and she’s playing SPACE INVADERS!’

But days were the those, and the relationships didn’t work out, between me and the girl and Tracy Huang and the girl’s father.

Still, the once-would-be stepmother-in-law is in town for her first concert in a long, long time, and I dunno, I might just cough up some money to go and say hallo auntie, remember me?

Glasses never looked better

Surf stop: CherylTan.Com
iTunes’ party shuffle is playing a copy of: La bohème, opera: Act One: Che gelida manina – Giacomo Puccini – Puccini: La Bohème, of which I have the original CD and therefore didn’t steal music.