Confinement tips

With this potion, I shall be invin­ci­ble.… muahahahahaha!

We’ve had lots of advice on Naomi’s recov­ery, rang­ing mostly from slight quack­ery (can­not drink cold water) to pure quack­ery (can­not drink plain water unless it’s mixed with ground eye of newt, stirred counter-clockwise, on the cusp of a par­tial or total eclipse of the moon).

Naomi’s also been told she has to wear socks when walk­ing around the house, because your Cae­sarean wound won’t heal prop­erly if you don’t wear socks, never mind the head trauma when you slip and fall on the tiled floor.

There’s also the no-shower rule, which, shhh… don’t tell the rel­lies, we’ve flouted every day since Kai was born. And then there’s the diet.

Rel­a­tives have been con­ven­ing every other day to dis­cuss the mer­its of eat­ing chicken, and whether eggs are also in the same con­trolled sub­stance list, and whether to fol­low Chap­ter 75 or 127 of the Book of Quack­ery, which has con­flict­ing advice but no pro­vi­sion for arbitration.

Our Con­fine­ment Nanny, although from the School of No Chicken Means No Eggs Con­fine­ment Diet, has demon­strated her­self to be more of a mod­er­ate, thank­fully. She lets Naomi shower, and she cooks a mean meal — we were treated last night to home-made char siew, can you believe that?

This morn­ing, she also gave us this gem of a tip (maybe you already know this, but we’re slow like that, see?):

Store your wet wipes upside down (with the open­ing at the bot­tom). This way, your wet wipes are always… um… more wet.