Eating the twelve days of Christmas

Meat lovers’ Christ­mas lunch

We ate Christ­mas Eve, Christ­mas Day and Box­ing Day and we’re prob­a­bly gonna be eat­ing the week­end as well.

We’ve been feast­ing so much because you gotta have turkey and you gotta have ham, and those things can only come in cer­tain sizes — there’s no fun-sized turkeys or hams — they’re big birds and um… pigs.

And while we were at it, we had a leg of lamb as well. Just the one leg, so it wasn’t that bad.

Still Christ­mas Eve din­ner and the left­over meals were enough to give you indi­ges­tion and night­mares — which is a small price to pay, really.

Unless of course, your night­mares were about being a tv or radio pre­sen­ter, all glammed up, but when you opened your mouth, the only thing that came out of your mouth was the phrase, “Only on AXN”, spo­ken exactly like Jaymee Ong, which is exactly like the sound a door makes when its hinges need oiling.

It’s a hor­ri­ble dream, and I wish no one ever suf­fers one like that, much less actu­ally really sound like that when they speak.

Double-boiled pear dessert made by my aunt

The Nespresso machine’s pretty handy with Christ­mas lunch-induced coma