Completely useless Christmas gifts: The Back Up

When I was in the Army, some­one gave me a gift which was sup­posed to be the China Army ver­sion of the Swiss Army knife. We know the lat­ter to be chock full of use­ful tools which you might need, like a fold­away mag­ni­fy­ing glass to look for the tiny screw which you’ve strug­gled to place in an equally tiny hole with your tiny screw­driver from the same tool.

But the China Army knife came one (or two) bet­ter — there was a fold­away fork and a fold­away spoon, so that you could eat your fold­away meals with­out using your fin­gers. Prob­lem was, you could only use one of them at a time, even though the spoon and fork folded out at oppo­site ends of the tool.

Here’s a gift idea that’s just as use­less, and which we saw fea­tured on Fox News, it’s called “The Back Up", and it's a cradle that attaches to your bed for to cradle your shotgun where you can reach it while you sleep. “Keep Your Gun By Your Side!”, says the web­site, “Put your shot­gun where you an reach it, instead of some out of the way place where it does you no good!”

As you can imag­ine, it’s not the gift for every­one. Or as one of the com­menters on the YouTube page quips, "This is only for fools who don't wear their shoulder holster to bed".

"I told you a thousand times before, put your gun in The Back Up, that's what I bought it for!"

"But darling, that's not my gun. It's loaded though".

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