Cosmopolitan or bust
Today’s Spe­cial: Melt­ing Pot

I’m think­ing that if we must remain cos­mopoli­tan, then we’d bet­ter do away with the damn Hua Yu Cool cam­paigns, or at least, match that with Bahasa Bagus and Tamil Ter­rific cam­paigns. Else we’re quite damned to becom­ing a mostly Chi­nese chau­vin­is­tic soci­ety with no respect for our cos­mopoli­tan her­itage.

I say ‘cos­mopoli­tan her­itage’ because there was a time when the entire coun­try seemed to speak bet­ter Eng­lish than the Good that they are try­ing to get the pop­u­lace to speak, when no one bat­ted as much of an eye­lid when a trou­bled Eng­lish boy sought refuge in a local Malay fam­ily to grow up and become the doyen of local radio announc­ers; when there wasn’t so much of a cul­tural cringe when the brands and dialects of Chi­nese spo­ken on medi­ums such as Red­if­fu­sion could be and were relied on by many; when we weren’t asked to Pinyinize our Chi­nese names for our­selves as well as for places; and when local Chi­nese tele­vi­sion didn’t start to try to sound like Tai­wanese or Main­land Chi­nese just because they thought they were the real deal.

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If you were to sup at the Al-Ameen ‘Restau­rant’ on Upper Bukit Timah, you’ll be reminded on how much of a melt­ing pot this city is, and how you just have to love an eatery with an Arab-Muslim name that serves Thai-Muslim dishes along­side bas­tardised spe­cials like Nasi Goreng USA, meat dishes like Bis­tik (beef steak), and some­thing called ‘Mee Med­i­tar­ian’, which, as I guess from the pho­to­graph fea­tur­ing toma­toes, mush­room and cap­sicum, is a Mediterranean-inspired noo­dle dish.

 Nr Rdonlyres 1C6C1Aaf-311B-4Ee1-Aa61-8A6753C7F585 95674 Milohcs15Kgsmall
The bev­er­ages, though, are just rubbish:

All man­ner of Milo is served. Or rather, a tin of Milo is upturned into half a tum­bler of iced-water and con­densed milk and given a name like Milo King Kong or Milo Dinosaur.

At the next table, two young Indi­ans are sip­ping their bev­er­ages, cough­ing as they acci­den­tally inhale a tea­spoon of pow­dered Milo, before con­tin­u­ing their con­ver­sa­tion about how nowa­days where got Ah Long come into the hous­ing estate and spray paint, you got see or not? It’s the bloody banks who are the real Ah Long, I tell you. One day late never pay your loan, con­firm sure call you, I tell you…

Across, two Chi­nese men and a girl, prob­a­bly in their twen­ties, are sit­ting, glum-faced, twid­dling their car keys before mut­ter­ing some­thing that sounds like what you want to eat? in Sin­ga­porean Mandarin.

Behind, you hear con­ver­sa­tions in Malay amid the sud­den din of small capac­ity motorcycles.

Is it just you or do quite a few peo­ple your age and older also think that there was a time you all got along bet­ter, even if racial stereo­types were stronger?

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  • http://www.samaryn.com gecko

    It’s not you alone. Can all of us say: sterilised?

  • http://www.samaryn.com gecko

    It’s not you alone. Can all of us say: sterilised?

  • http://oceanshaft.blogspot.com smazh

    That Al-Ameen place is amaz­ing. It just keeps grow­ing and grow­ing, from one stall lot to two, to more, and now they occupy almost the whole block…

    Actu­ally, I quite like the Milo Dinosaur.

  • http://oceanshaft.blogspot.com smazh

    That Al-Ameen place is amaz­ing. It just keeps grow­ing and grow­ing, from one stall lot to two, to more, and now they occupy almost the whole block…

    Actu­ally, I quite like the Milo Dinosaur.

  • bar­ney

    tsk­tsk. AL Ameen sucks la.…Al Azhar bet­ter.. a few stalls away..

    Sign­ing off,
    Bar­ney
    Your frenly gay dino guru makan

  • bar­ney

    tsk­tsk. AL Ameen sucks la.…Al Azhar bet­ter.. a few stalls away..

    Sign­ing off,
    Bar­ney
    Your frenly gay dino guru makan

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  • http://kansha-shite.blogspot.com gilda

    i haven’t been in sin­ga­pore for a while so i have no idea about this hua yu cool o what­ever cam­paign! in fact the name itself is quite retarded. but in the years that i’ve been away, every­time i go back, i get so irri­tated when­ever i realise that NO ONE can speak proper eng­lish any­more. i can’t believe singlish is even allowed in restau­rants espe­cially when the wait­ress comes up and says, what you want? so cos­mopoli­tan is just a dream if none of these kids can string a proper eng­lish together with­out mak­ing 47 gram­mer mistakes.

  • http://kansha-shite.blogspot.com gilda

    i haven’t been in sin­ga­pore for a while so i have no idea about this hua yu cool o what­ever cam­paign! in fact the name itself is quite retarded. but in the years that i’ve been away, every­time i go back, i get so irri­tated when­ever i realise that NO ONE can speak proper eng­lish any­more. i can’t believe singlish is even allowed in restau­rants espe­cially when the wait­ress comes up and says, what you want? so cos­mopoli­tan is just a dream if none of these kids can string a proper eng­lish together with­out mak­ing 47 gram­mer mistakes.

  • holy­hunk

    (Par­don me, THIS is the FINAL version…I was prob­a­bly too worked up writ­ing my comments…)

    I beg to dif­fer on hear­ing your sweep­ing state­ment, gilda! I, for one, DO speak proper Queen’s Eng­lish WITHOUT a fake accent. Mr Miyagi, allow me to pre­sume, would be another excep­tion to your unfair stereotype.

    Again, allow me to shock you with another FACT: I also speak impec­ca­ble Man­darin and fairly good Can­tonese, and am unabashedly PROUD of it. Allow me to stress the FACT that unlike many Sin­ga­pore­ans (Mr Miyagi inclu­sive) I DON’T SEE ANYTHING SO SHAMEFUL ABOUT SPEAKING FLUENT MANDARIN (whether it’s localised or dec­o­rated with the northerner’s slang or tai­wanese twang).

    Who­ever says you have to HATE Man­darin (and ABHOR utter­ing even a word of it) or speak it BADLY in order to be cos­mopoli­tan, who­ever dic­tates you have to EMBRACE your lin­gua franca like it’s your ONLY pass­port to finesse and sophis­ti­ca­tion, who­ever thinks POWDERFUL ENGLAND and TOKKONG CHINA are mutu­ally EXCLUSIVE

    YOU are pre­cisely the reason(s) why the huayu COOL cam­paign has been cre­ated in the first place. Thanks to YOU, for being the only yellow-skinned homosapi­ens in the globe to think huayu is UNCOOL. That’s why we have to come up with such an idi­otic brain­washer to make YOU think otherwise.

    Get it? YOU pseudo-angmohs out there!

  • holy­hunk

    (Par­don me, THIS is the FINAL version…I was prob­a­bly too worked up writ­ing my comments…)

    I beg to dif­fer on hear­ing your sweep­ing state­ment, gilda! I, for one, DO speak proper Queen’s Eng­lish WITHOUT a fake accent. Mr Miyagi, allow me to pre­sume, would be another excep­tion to your unfair stereotype.

    Again, allow me to shock you with another FACT: I also speak impec­ca­ble Man­darin and fairly good Can­tonese, and am unabashedly PROUD of it. Allow me to stress the FACT that unlike many Sin­ga­pore­ans (Mr Miyagi inclu­sive) I DON’T SEE ANYTHING SO SHAMEFUL ABOUT SPEAKING FLUENT MANDARIN (whether it’s localised or dec­o­rated with the northerner’s slang or tai­wanese twang).

    Who­ever says you have to HATE Man­darin (and ABHOR utter­ing even a word of it) or speak it BADLY in order to be cos­mopoli­tan, who­ever dic­tates you have to EMBRACE your lin­gua franca like it’s your ONLY pass­port to finesse and sophis­ti­ca­tion, who­ever thinks POWDERFUL ENGLAND and TOKKONG CHINA are mutu­ally EXCLUSIVE…

    YOU are pre­cisely the reason(s) why the huayu COOL cam­paign has been cre­ated in the first place. Thanks to YOU, for being the only yellow-skinned homosapi­ens in the globe to think huayu is UNCOOL. That’s why we have to come up with such an idi­otic brain­washer to make YOU think otherwise.

    Get it? YOU pseudo-angmohs out there!

  • http://miyagi.sg Mr Miyagi

    So, um, Holy­hunk, dude, mis­ter, um… you want me to delete your pre­vi­ous three comments?

  • http://miyagi.sg Mr Miyagi

    So, um, Holy­hunk, dude, mis­ter, um… you want me to delete your pre­vi­ous three comments?

  • holy­hunk

    Yes please, Mr Miyagi. I reck­oned you would do so with­out ask­ing any­way. Sorry about that. My lap­top is as erratic as my temperament!

    You should per­haps come up with a self-deleting func­tion, for repet­i­tive mes­sages. Hehe…

  • holy­hunk

    Yes please, Mr Miyagi. I reck­oned you would do so with­out ask­ing any­way. Sorry about that. My lap­top is as erratic as my temperament!

    You should per­haps come up with a self-deleting func­tion, for repet­i­tive mes­sages. Hehe…

  • holy­hunk

    Par­don me for think­ing aloud AGAIN

    There is no FARCKING need for Bahasa Bagus or Tamil Ter­rific, I beseech you, because the Malays already speak Melayu well and the non-Hindus already speak Tamil flu­ently! (In fact I know of a hand­ful of Indi­ans who can speak Tamil, Hindi and Pun­jabi well!) Some of our non-Chinese friends even speak bet­ter Man­darin (and other dialects, for that mat­ter) than their pseudow­est­ern counterparts.

  • holy­hunk

    Par­don me for think­ing aloud AGAIN

    There is no FARCKING need for Bahasa Bagus or Tamil Ter­rific, I beseech you, because the Malays already speak Melayu well and the non-Hindus already speak Tamil flu­ently! (In fact I know of a hand­ful of Indi­ans who can speak Tamil, Hindi and Pun­jabi well!) Some of our non-Chinese friends even speak bet­ter Man­darin (and other dialects, for that mat­ter) than their pseudow­est­ern counterparts.

  • http://nighttiming.blogspot.com Tea-drinking, tree-hugging, mu

    I beg to dif­fer, holy­hunk. The Malays now are ter­lalu atas to speak proper Bahasa Melayu, lah. I watch too much Suria, so much so I can imag­ine how the Malay youths of today are stam­mer­ing when they’re asked ques­tions in Malay and when they speak, mak oi! their twang are so Mat Salleh lah!!!

    Even I’ve gotta admit. 4 years in sec­ondary school has caused my great Bahasa Melayu track record to rot in hell and I am so malu of this as I was a for­mer stu­dent of Higher Malay at MOELC. So yeah, it’s time for the whole Malay com­mu­nity and gov­ern­ment to wake up and realise that in 20 years time, if there’s no Bahasa Bagus move­ment to rem­edy the sit­u­a­tion, orang Melayu can­not speak Melayu no more!

  • http://nighttiming.blogspot.com Tea-drinking, tree-hugging, music mimoo

    I beg to dif­fer, holy­hunk. The Malays now are ter­lalu atas to speak proper Bahasa Melayu, lah. I watch too much Suria, so much so I can imag­ine how the Malay youths of today are stam­mer­ing when they’re asked ques­tions in Malay and when they speak, mak oi! their twang are so Mat Salleh lah!!!

    Even I’ve gotta admit. 4 years in sec­ondary school has caused my great Bahasa Melayu track record to rot in hell and I am so malu of this as I was a for­mer stu­dent of Higher Malay at MOELC. So yeah, it’s time for the whole Malay com­mu­nity and gov­ern­ment to wake up and realise that in 20 years time, if there’s no Bahasa Bagus move­ment to rem­edy the sit­u­a­tion, orang Melayu can­not speak Melayu no more!

  • holy­hunk

    Thanks tea-tree, for momen­tar­ily tak­ing away the nag­ging sense of cri­sis that I’ve always had for Chi­nese Sin­ga­pore­ans. Yes, all thanks to an innate ten­dency to exag­ger­ate one’s own prob­lems or issues, espe­cially when no one else thinks they are a cause for concern.

    Let’s agree to dis­agree, ‘cos I’m still envi­ous of the cohe­sive­ness of the Malay com­mu­nity despite tea-tree’s plea for bet­ter Melayu, and I’m still pretty con­vinced as an Insider that the pro­fi­ciency level of hua yu amongst cos­mopoli­tan [chi­nese] SINGAPOREANS is in a deplorable state!

  • holy­hunk

    Thanks tea-tree, for momen­tar­ily tak­ing away the nag­ging sense of cri­sis that I’ve always had for Chi­nese Sin­ga­pore­ans. Yes, all thanks to an innate ten­dency to exag­ger­ate one’s own prob­lems or issues, espe­cially when no one else thinks they are a cause for concern.

    Let’s agree to dis­agree, ‘cos I’m still envi­ous of the cohe­sive­ness of the Malay com­mu­nity despite tea-tree’s plea for bet­ter Melayu, and I’m still pretty con­vinced as an Insider that the pro­fi­ciency level of hua yu amongst cos­mopoli­tan [chi­nese] SINGAPOREANS is in a deplorable state!

  • dan aquino

    can some­body teach me to speak melayu bet­ter? pls my con­tact# 0142847850 thanks alot!

  • http://none dan aquino

    can some­body teach me to speak melayu bet­ter? pls my con­tact# 0142847850 thanks alot!

  • holy­hunk

    This is a must-share.

    As a fer­vent sup­porter of fine Japan­ese cui­sine, I receive emails every now and then updat­ing me on good deals. Here’s one of them:

    Thank you for sup­port­ing Rakuzen every time. I would like to inform that our BIG NEWS.

    1. Our monthly pro­mo­tion.
    We have pre­pared so fresh SABA (Mack­erel) for that. If you can’t eat low fish,I will rec­om­mend our grilled SABA on HO-BA Leaf. It’s DIY style and you can try to cook on the leaf with spe­cial MISO. Please try our SP SABA!!

    2. Finally we got our own HP!!
    So you will be able to check it out anytime!

    3. Did you get a party in our restau­rant before?! With your cus­tomers, your Lover… or your best friends. We got a room for 4pax to 50pax. We’re wait­ing for your reservation!!!

    Nice Jap food,SASHIMI,TEMPURA will make you happy!!!

  • holy­hunk

    This is a must-share.

    As a fer­vent sup­porter of fine Japan­ese cui­sine, I receive emails every now and then updat­ing me on good deals. Here’s one of them:

    Thank you for sup­port­ing Rakuzen every time. I would like to inform that our BIG NEWS.

    1. Our monthly pro­mo­tion.
    We have pre­pared so fresh SABA (Mack­erel) for that. If you can’t eat low fish,I will rec­om­mend our grilled SABA on HO-BA Leaf. It’s DIY style and you can try to cook on the leaf with spe­cial MISO. Please try our SP SABA!!

    2. Finally we got our own HP!!
    So you will be able to check it out anytime!

    3. Did you get a party in our restau­rant before?! With your cus­tomers, your Lover… or your best friends. We got a room for 4pax to 50pax. We’re wait­ing for your reservation!!!

    Nice Jap food,SASHIMI,TEMPURA will make you happy!!!

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