Welcome to the A-Star red State

There will be peo­ple who find the above image highly offen­sive and insen­si­tive. Well. We can amend it a lit­tle and call it the A-Star patch. We might as well tat­too HIV pos­i­tive Sin­ga­pore­ans. Or since we’re such a con­nected city, we’ll put some chip in ‘em, or some­thing. Tourists and vis­i­tors who are HIV pos­i­tive will be issued with a tem­po­rary seri­alised A-Star with bio­met­ric iden­ti­fi­ca­tion fea­tures free of charge, to be returned to ICA offi­cers upon departure.

We could A-Star ID AIDS vic­tims, but this government’s banned wagon is one well-oiled, and big, machine, and I don’t see why they don’t ban sex between non-monogamous con­sent­ing adults alto­gether. Easy what. Solves the prob­lem dun­nit? Huh? Huh? Huh?

mr brown’s said it, and I sec­ond it. We must have some sort of cer­ti­fi­ca­tion sys­tem of autho­rised sex­ual inter­course. It may not be the only fool­proof way to curb AIDS (because fools work­ing at HSA might acci­den­tally use tainted blood trans­fu­sions), but it will go a long way. For­ni­ca­tion Under Con­sent of the Gov­ern­ment will be some­thing we must all strive to attain. A man­ual and log card will be issued with every certificate.

While we’re at it, hey, this banned wagon thing could really work to solve all our prob­lems. Lesseee…

1. Birds shit all over expen­sive cars. Shoot birds. Check. Bird­shit prob­lem solved. (Wait, they already do that)
2. Cou­ples mar­ry­ing later and not hav­ing kids. Revoke mar­riage cer­tifi­cates and hous­ing sub­si­dies for cou­ples who get mar­ried but don’t have chil­dren when they don’t have a med­ical rea­son not to. Check. Declin­ing pop­u­la­tion prob­lem solved.
3. Gay peo­ple hav­ing sex and spread­ing AIDS. Ban gay peo­ple. Check. Gay sex prob­lem solved, declin­ing pop­u­la­tion prob­lem not affected very much despite ban­ning gay people.

Some bright spark might even­tu­ally imple­ment this:

Ban sale of con­doms to mar­ried cou­ples med­ically cer­ti­fied to have inter­course with a view to hav­ing children.

Because non-monogamous sex is the prob­lem but declin­ing pop­u­la­tion is also the prob­lem, ban­ning con­doms will pre­vent peo­ple from going out and hav­ing non-monogamous sex.

Cam­paign simi cam­paign? Ban can already! Ban cig­a­rettes while you’re at it! I won’t quit smok­ing till you ban cig­a­rettes. Ban­ning increases aware­ness! Restric­tions work! Look at ST Inter­ac­tive? Make it restricted to pay per sub­scrip­tion only, and everyone’s talk­ing about it.

Lots to do, but good job so far, Gov­ern­ment! Get to work on the A-Star patch first and see where we go from there!