Better have the handsfree attached when Steph Song calls

Cow­boy Caleb sez ‘be con­sis­tent in your con­tent’ or some­thing or other. And while I hardly ever apol­o­gize for the con­tent of this glob, I’ve been told that the very thing that draws peo­ple here is the fact that I drop names and pic­tures of famous peo­ple (even Cowboy’s taken to this, though I think he likes Cheryl Fox ‘cos she’s got a porn star name) and gos­sip about them, and lately I haven’t been doing that enough.

So, here ’tis:

This morn­ing, while I’m dri­ving a doe, a deer, a very attrac­tive female friend, some­one calls on the mobile while I don’t have the hands­free attached and it’s Steph Song!

I hear a whole bunch of exple­tives, and decide, ok, this one impor­tant, bet­ter put on handsfree:

You lit­tle shit! MISTER MIYAGI eh? My friend emailed me the link to your blog!, said Miss Song, call­ing all the way from L.A. and not look­ing a day over 25.

But it’s a blog, and the read­ers know not every­thing here is true, and they’ll believe what they want to believe any­way, and they prob­a­bly believe I don’t really know Steph Song!

Fuck, of course they wanna believe you know me! And I know lotsa peo­ple read your blog, or else my friend wouldn’t have emailed me!

That is so not true!

It is, you lit­tle meanie! Look at what you did to Fiona Xie!

OK. So, how’s L.A.?

L.A.‘s fine, but it’s get­ting expen­sive, so I’m com­ing back. So, can you stop peo­ple read­ing about me on your blog?

Har? You’re com­ing back? OK, I’ll ask the read­ers very nicely to stop read­ing about you here.

You lit­tle shit! You’re such an ass­hole! What did I do to you?

Oh come on! Fair game! How’dja find my new phone num­ber anyways?

I ain’t tellin’ ya, you lit­tle shit, you’re gonna write it in your blog, MISTER MIYAGI!

Why don’t you start your own blog and write stuff about me lah!

So, please, all youse read­ers of this here glob, don’t read the bits about Steph Song, ok? All untrue. Even the stuff I’ve just written.

Ceci n’est pas une pipe