Household applicants

Been very busy, so I’m rely­ing on a cell of oper­a­tives to gather infor­ma­tion, use­ful and not, for this blog.

One of my oper­a­tives in Chi­na­town tells me the Chi­nese New Year dec­o­ra­tions there includes a giant rooster sit­ting on some giant eggs amidst the recy­cled Christ­mas light­ing. Rooster sit­ting on eggs leh. “If this isn’t indica­tive of the state of the Sin­ga­porean male, I don’t know what is”, my oper­a­tive adds.

Another oper­a­tive reports the fol­low­ing con­ver­sa­tion heard on a train. (Not over­heard. Heard. Sin­ga­pore­ans, we talk very LOUDLY):

Eh, any shop got appli­cants sale or not ah?

What appli­cants? What shop?

Neh? Like Best Denki, Courts all that?

What appli­cants?

Neh? Like ket­tle, microwave all that? House­hold appli­cants lah!

Orh. Dunno. See news­pa­per lah.

My well-trained oper­a­tive adhered to the rule of non-intervention and resisted the urge to cor­rect the con­ver­sa­tion, allow­ing him­self only to mut­ter, ‘Buy mat­tress free hand­phone, dear”.

And Chi­nese New Year buy new appli­cants appli­ances one meh? My fam­ily just insists on man­darin oranges, tid­bits and new cloats.

Get this mon­key off my back. I look stu­pid enough as it is.