Perfect timing

Some­one or some group called the ‘Yel­low Red Orga­ni­za­tion’ says they will con­duct some seri­ous ter­ror­ist activ­ity from 20th — 30th April at some inter­est­ing places in eight coun­tries includ­ing Sin­ga­pore. (Note also that our Chan­nur News Ayzure has con­spic­u­ously omit­ted our nation’s name from the head­line. Scared share prices plum­met again.)

Fear not, me and my fel­low troop­ers from the 433rd Bat­tal­ion, Sin­ga­pore Armoured Reg­i­ment, will be keep­ing you safe. The Marder Chee­bye ter­ror­ists always pick our mobil­i­sa­tion man­ning period to zho luan!

(Jokes aside, I am keep­ing fin­gers and toes crossed noth­ing hap­pens. Would-be ter­ror­ists note: I will be really angry if you cause me to be recalled next week. So angry I will really want to kill you).

And I can’t remem­ber what my recall code­word is. Fly­ing Oys­ter Omelette or some­thing. As if I didn’t have enough things to worry about. Work has been hell because of the num­ber of mis­takes I’ve been mak­ing. It’s hard when you’re your own supervisor.

The con­ver­sa­tion at din­ner tonight might have shed some light on why I am so absent-minded. Mum was com­par­ing my nephew’s upbring­ing with me and my sibling’s 3rd world one. Appar­ently, I had a nanny (we were quite well to do, by 3rd world stan­dards) who hap­pened to be an opium addict, and who would lock her­self in the room, with me, aged 1.5, and lan­guidly chase the dragon.

I said maybe that’s why I’ve such an active imag­i­na­tion (read: col­lec­tion of pho­bias). Mum coun­tered with, ‘No lah. Your nanny and Kenny’s (my brother) nanny locked up the house and took you all to Haw Par Villa to see all the demons and sculp­tures of dis­em­bow­elled sinners’.

Solved. In one fell swoop. Why I am absent minded and have a height­ened sense of guilt.